The Rain, Rain Making Me Cry

There are seven votes, so far, on the poll about the renaming of book 3 (currently The Secrets Were Spilling At The Seams). Anybody is allowed to vote, but the poll will finish in seven days time. If you want to get your thoughts in then you have until the end of Sunday to do so. There will be links to this journal on facebook (if you're a fan of my official page or SaSA) and twitter (they're posted automatically through a feed), which means you really have no excuse for missing it. The poll is on the right and you are allowed to vote for more than one if you like more than one title.

If you want to become a fan of my facebook page, then please click the image on the left (one of my photos that has been beautifully, graphically altered by Andrew) and it should redirect you if I've done everything right. I have a myspace as well, but it's linked to my twitter so pretty much every update you get on there is the same as my twitter. It's easier to receive comments there, though, so please feel free to click the link. Twitter doesn't seem to be loading properly today, anyway. I'm not quite sure why that is but it's not updating everybody's tweets as it should. Maybe on the seventh day twitter also decided it was a day of rest. Who knows?

Formspring won't let me ask my friend any more questions, either. My formspring is here, in case you really are so bored that you want to ask me innumerable questions. I've spent about an hour asking my friend (NALGames AKA Andrew McCluskey) desert island style questions. It's been quite fun, especially as I think you learn more about the way your friends think with those kinds of questions. You can also turn it into more of a story/adventure scenario too. Sadly, it is also another way for me to continue to procrastinate.

I'm listening to one of my cats snoring at the minute. He's got his paw over his face as usual when he sleeps and is murmuring sleepy things and wiggling occasionally. One of my other cats (the pillow lover, if you've read some of my previous entries about his antics) is lying next to me upside down and purring while he has his tummy rubbed, which is an unusual past time for him. He doesn't really like his tummy touched unless it's on his terms.

I was going to clear out some clothes that I don't wear, but I've run out of steam for physical activities. There are days when I really want to get on and do stuff like that and others where I simply feel like I lack enough energy to even raise my arm too far. I might have a burst of energy later on, but I sincerely doubt it. It would be rather nice if my dream did come true. It was quite a bizarre dream, but then mine always are bizarre. Last night I dreamt I had a fridge and a lovely big sofa in my room. I'd really like both, but I simply haven't the space. Of course, the room in my dream was much bigger than this. If my room was bigger then maybe I'd be able to keep things a bit tidier. I just don't have the space to put stuff and my dad simply won't help me build onto my desk to make it more suitable to my needs. He's a lazy, grumpy old man.

I suppose I could attempt it myself, though I imagine that my DIY skills will not fair too well... and I need some pieces of wood.

(Lyrics in title are from How My Heart Behaves by Feist)

Rip This Red Dress

I went out for my birthday drink last night. My aim was to consume my age in drinks (twenty). I didn't manage it. I made it to nine, so I guess I covered my mental age. It was actually eight, but I had a large cocktail that tasted like strawberry milkshake so my friends pointed out that that would be regarded as two drinks considering the amount of alcohol that went into it. Sadly, I don't think sipping their drinks counted towards my attempt.

I've included one of my photos so that you can see the cool people who went out with me. The girl at the top is Tiff, then there's Sarah and the girl whose smile you can see is Nat W. It will probably protect her identity that you can't see her whole face considering our private joke that her most likely career choice would have been an assassin. I'm the girl in the red dress.

It was a really good night. We had a nice long catch up as well as being able to dance a bit and let our hair down, which I haven't done in quite a while. I've been so tired and stressed lately that finding time to wind down and relax properly just hasn't been easy to fit into my agenda. It was good to see friends, though. I haven't seen any of them since New Years Eve, which is kind of sad because I always enjoy going out with these three in particular. That's not to say that I don't enjoy going out with others, but I always have fun when I'm with these particular people. The only downside is that I know there are going to be some dreadful photos of me posted on facebook. To be honest, I don't mind that they're dreadful because I like being able to have the memories. I really don't understand it when people untag themselves from photos of them when they were younger. They might be embarrassing but it's always nice to be able to look back at things that have happened in the past and to swim in that lovely warm feeling of nostalgia.

The only thing that's wrong with going out where I live is that everything closes at 3am. It's a small town so it's understandable, I suppose. There's only one nightclub and tonnes of food places, but the nightclub closes at 3am. So when you leave you go to get food but all of the food places have shut their doors. I reckon they should try to stay open half an hour later than that because they'd make such huge profits. Of course, it meant that we all had a sandwich when we got in at.. about 4? It takes a while to walk from town to my house and I don't really trust taxi drivers. Luckily, we weren't feeling the cold too much because we'd had enough to drink by then and we were keeping moving.

I also wanted to mention that I've added a poll at the side so you can tell me what you think of the book name dilemma that I mentioned previously. I've also opened up commenting to anyone who wants to comment. You shouldn't have to log in with a google ID or whatever else it asks for. I hope that helps everybody.

I think I'm going to get some editing under way, actually. That's if I can, anyway. My eyes are a bit sore, which is most likely because I didn't sleep too well when I got in. I was having a few agitating dreams that I weirdly can't remember. All I know is that they were making me anxious for some reason.

Secrets or not? Dilemma over a book title...

I'm in need of help. This is a lot less like my normal entries. I've been debating over a long period of time on whether or not I should retitle The Secrets Were Spilling At The Seams. Whilst it fits with the book, I sometimes think that the title is a bit too clunky. I've considered reducing it to 'Secrets', which is what I call it when shortening the title, but I think this is a bit too short.

It's in a series of books that I'm writing (though I don't have them published) so the need to remember individual titles is a little bit more important. My first is titled Dark Side of the Moon and the second is called Shadows & Ghosts.

The suggestions I have so far are as follows:

• Secrets
• Spilling Secrets
• Secrets & Lies
• Spilling Secrets & Lies
• The Secrets Were Spilling At The Seams [this is a vote for keeping it]

I'd be interested to hear if anyone has any other suggestions and what your thoughts are on the subject. I think I'm leaning towards either the first or third on the list, but I don't know. Whilst I liked my original title, I'm just not sure on it any more. That's why I'm asking for any input that anybody has.

IN OTHER NEWS...

I got home last night and after dying my hair.. I fell asleep. 7.30 in the evening is not when I normally fall asleep but it seems that my lack had finally caught up with me. Still, I didn't expect that I'd sleep straight through until 12.55 in the afternoon the next day. I had some weird dreams that were something to do with super powers. I say weird, but for me odd dreams are perfectly normal events.

After waking up, I have pretty much done nothing but scavenge and then return. I say scavenge because Ethel Austin has supposedly gone into liquidation and, as it's my favourite shop to nab clothes from, I thought I'd go see if there was anything suitable for me to get for tonight (late birthday drink with friends). There wasn't really anything that caught my eye. I got a nice top, though, and three shirts I thought would be suitable for placement (I'm doing Initial Teacher Training and on placement in Primary Schools so I need to be dressed appropriately but also not in a suit). They all look really good and the new top does too, so I'm really pleased.

I thought I'd have a look in M & Co afterwards, though, in case they actually had something wearable. They are one of my least favourite shops but pretty much the only other fairly decent clothes shop in the small town where I live. I figured there was the slim possibility that they would have a nice top to wear out... I didn't find a top... but I did find a stunning black dress with glittery bits on it. Sadly they had no more of these in my size, which really annoyed me... until I noticed the scarlet one that was in my size and was only a tenner. Result of shopping: SCORE!

So I'm probably going to wear this red dress tonight. Maybe with my sparkly silver heels.. though, I'm not sure if the heels will match so I may just wear black heels. My black heels are actually a hell of a lot comfier so I won't be too fussed, either way.

I'm hoping that tonight will be a good night, though. I'm going to be with some friends who are always good to be out with and I always enjoy myself with... and I will force them to go dancing. So all should be awesome. And if it isn't, I will make it awesome.

Anyway, please post your comments about the book title. They will be much appreciated. Thanks!

Wired With Water

I haven't much to say, tonight, really. You should probably be relieved after last night's run through of stuff. The only reason I'm probably even awake is because I've been drinking water and, as we know, that stimulates the brain brilliantly. I like to have a pint of water when I'm writing. It seems to make the words come faster and thicker. I'd like to say that I've done some writing on my Jocasta Lizzbeth Moonshadow series, or at least some editing, but I haven't. I might do some over the weekend or even on Friday (I haven't slept yet so this is still Wednesday for me =P).

I may have time on Friday. It depends, really, on how much time I have and my general mood. There's the possibility that I'll write when I get home tomorrow, but this is judging that I'm not too tired. I think I'm going to go to bed in a minute, anyway. My brain is just spacing out so it would probably be a good idea.

Also, I just saw the teaser for the new Doctor Who.. I'm sorry, but Matt Smith is no David Tennant.

I will only stress one thing: Please, please, please give me some comments below on what you think about the name change of Secrets.

Where Does The Time Go?! ...& other reasons for using '?!'

Where does the time go, honestly?

I haven't had any time to do any editing, which is really bugging me. This is partly because I fell asleep for several hours earlier... Such an act was entirely unfortunate... but necessary.

I've not been sleeping properly for days, mostly because of worries and because my brother wrecked my sleeping pattern by keeping me awake all night for two nights. Shattered is absolutely how I'd like to describe myself right now, which is why I nodded off with my laptop on top of me earlier. One of these days I will probably do that and it will set fire to my face or something as equally possible but ridiculous. In the burns unit I will only shrug and say it could only happen to me. Things like this only seem to happen to me. It's probably why I can write stupid things like that happening fairly believably.

This reminds me of one of my favourite scenes in Secrets (I still haven't figured out if I'm changing the title or not - I may even put up a vote) where one of the characters is attacked and sees something that really shocks her. Instead of looking after her injuries and/or demanding answers, she announces that she's making a cup of tea and would anyone like one. I think it amuses me more because I know it's one of those things that I would do given the same situation. There are other little funny scenes written in the same vein, too, but I won't give any more away.

Excuse me whilst I pause in typing to have a coughing fit.

Okay. I'm good. This stupid cough still hasn't quite left me.

Other things that cause the '?!' are usually just classed as my younger brother. When I got in today, despite being knackered, I had to go straight back out and get food (one of my other favourite subjects) so I have something to eat on placement tomorrow. I bought loads of ham and cooked chicken pieces and stuff - all out of my own money and all solely for my pack ups. I got a few other things I needed too (except for the paper I'd also gone for! Tesco are just rubbish here. I needed it to print off my lesson plan and everything) and some dry cat food because the boys and Poppy are out. When I got home, I put my clothes in the washer, ate my dinner and then came upstairs to sort out worksheets etc.. but fell asleep as previously mentioned.

Thus far this story is really interesting, right? I don't think so.

When I woke up from my accidental sleep (to a really lovely image someone sent me, but more on that in a short while), I finished sorting the worksheets and borrowed the other laptop to print my work off downstairs with some drawing paper that I'd found as a substitute for the proper stuff (no thanks to Tesco). Anyway, I remembered I needed to shove my clothes in the drier (it's about 2.30am so not ideal at all). Sorted that out and figured that, since I'd bought it, I might try the ham to see if it was worth buying. Turns out that Gannet Boy has already started chomping on my cooked chicken. I mean, I really wouldn't mind...

EXCEPT...

I bought all that food out of my own money for me when I'm on placement and, even if I hadn't, he eats everything in the house! I'm surprised there are any walls left. He's probably started on the plaster in his room having gnawed through the wallpaper first. There's never anything left for anybody else. He clearly hasn't even asked, either. After a while, you just get really sick of it, which brings me to the fact that I've made a decision. I'm going to get myself a mini fridge as soon as I can. I figure that, if I get a mini fridge, he can't eat everything I get for myself. Unfortunately, I have no idea where I could put this mini fridge as my room is really tiny and already brimming with the most amazing amount of junk that I have accumulated (suggest throwing stuff out and I will hurt you. You can't throw stuff out if you're a hoarder like your mother). I have paper everywhere, as well. It's mostly notes on plots and things, but the lack of room means that I just have nowhere else to put it and, sadly, I can't really afford to move out.

You might be wondering what image it was that I woke up to. It's sadly nothing terribly exciting to most people. I decided to make myself a new facebook page (the old one was mostly to do with a different site for my writing so it just wouldn't do) and Andrew (who is doing the graphics for my new site - he also did the graphics on this journal - and is a serial commenter as you may have noticed) has created me and image for the page. It's one of my photographs that has been cropped and edited to a lovely effect. You can see the page here: Rebecca Clare Smith's Writing. I'd be really honoured if you became a fan and many thanks to those that already have.

If you want to ask me any questions, by the way, I have recently joined formspring. It allows you to ask questions anonymously unless you have an account. My profile is right here so if you'd like to ask me questions, then, please feel free. If it's inappropriate, though, I will simply not answer. However, I would like to think that, if you have a question and think I might be able to help in some way, you could feel as if you could ask me without public embarrassment.

Anyway... until next time... *flies off with cape streaming*

Where: At my messy desk

Listening to: Telephone - Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce

Tabs open: SD chatroom, Facebook, Formspring

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, WMP

I Guess It's Just A Silly Song About You & How I Lost You & Your Brown Eyes

Decided that I'm going to go out on Friday for a drink, because, other than needing one (I'm not an alcoholic but I seriously need to let my hair down after the pile of stress that's fallen on my head lately), it's going to be a late birthday drink. I plan on taking my new camera (who is called Jeremy after a character in a book that I've read) so I can snap some lovely photos of the pandemonium that will undoubtedly ensue. Besides, I rarely see people. I'm working on the recluse thing... but I guess I kind of like a bit of human contact once in a while.

'I guess it's just a silly song about how I loved you and how I lost you and your brown eyes...

Your brown eyes...'

This song makes me think of somebody but we'll forego the usual tag as if he ever reads this it may make him feel self-important and that's not what we want, is it? I was talking to a friend earlier and she mentioned a particular date. It took a moment for me to register quite why it had made me stop. Then I realised that it was because, last year, it was the date of the first foam party I went to. It was also the day before he dumped me. It's branded on my brain, I guess. To be honest, though, I hadn't really thought about it until my friend mentioned it. When she did it felt like getting hit over the head with something. I was suddenly peculiarly dizzy. It was probably just a moment of silliness.

I completed editing Chapter 7 of Dark Side of the Moon. It's improved immensely. If I had some proper free time, then I would get on and start Chapter 8. I want to get it all edited and straightened out so that I can send it off to a literary agent. It's urban fantasy, so I'll need to research some urban fantasy agents first, but it would help to have the manuscript finished off to a higher standard before I even contemplate that again. I mean, I tried before but I had no idea what I was doing. If it hadn't been for the introduction of twitter, I think I would have just blundered on regardless, so I think I owe Andrew McCluskey (NAL) a thank you, there, as he was the one who tried to get me to join and eventually succeeded... and now I have more followers than him in a shorter space of time - not that anyone is counting!

Anyway, yeah...

If I hadn't joined twitter I wouldn't have seen what the literary agents around the world were saying about the queries and submissions that they received. It's opened my eyes a lot more to the world of seeking publication. There are so many helpful authors on there, too. In fact, what I would suggest to anyone seeking to submit like I am is the following:

• Join twitter
• Add authors & literary agents on there (you can usually find them by sifting through the lists of other authors & publishing houses or shops like Waterstones & WH Smith)
• Get involved in some of the hash tag conversations such as #litchat and read hash tags such as #queryquotes - they will give you a better understanding.
• Buy The Writers' & Artists' Yearbook and Writers' Market
• Then buy Wannabe A Writer - all three of these books are really informative from the technique of writing to contacting agents/publishers and their contact details to do so.

If you're reading this and you're trying to get an agent or a publisher then good luck and I hope that helped. It's helped me so far - but I'm not signed yet... so I may still be wrong.

If you have any tips you're willing to share with me then please feel free to comment!

Where: On my bed

Listening to: Brown Eyes - Lady GaGa

Tabs open: SD chatroom, Facebook

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, WMP, MSWord

(Lyrics in the title are from Brown Eyes by Lady GaGa)

Should I Give Up Or Should I Just Keep Chasing Pavements?

So, tomorrow it's my birthday... And yet I don't really find myself excited. I guess it's because twenty means I don't have as much of a chance to enjoy it like I did when I was a little kid. There's also the fact that whenever anything bad in our family happens.. it tends to fall on or just before my birthday. Maybe I'm a bad omen. Who knows?

Anyway, thus far, I have two cards. One is from my brother and his wife. The other is from my parents. I don't expect anything from my other two brothers. My younger brother never remembers, or does and refuses to get me even a card, and my eldest brother fell out with me because I told him to grow up and stop acting like a three year old. To say he's over a decade older than me, he should have grown up by now. Maybe that's the fact that I seem to act older than I actually am, though. Anyway, I don't really expect too much for my birthday. I may spend the day in bed eating things or jotting down stuff for stories. I may even avoid facebook because I don't want to see all the birthday messages I'll get.

The thing I'm looking forward to about it, though, is that my improved site is a birthday present. I know that work on the graphics is probably going to be slow today, however, as Andrew is involved in the GJ Jam with a couple of my other friends. I've been linked to screenshots of the event and so far they all seem to be doing stellar jobs. Sean isn't involved in the game making so he's probably carry on with website building. He's really good at it to say he's so young - makes me feel proud of him.

I think I slightly mother all the lads I talk to in my chatroom. Pretty much all of them are a couple of years younger than me, but they're all really talented at the things they choose to do, such as game making or web building. Every time they accomplish something, I feel slightly like a proud mother looking on from the sidelines. Silly, I guess, but even in my own head I refer to them as my boys. God knows what I'll be like when I have kids of my own. Lol.

On the subject of changing the name of Book 3... Andrew has suggested Spilling Secrets. If anyone has any opinions on it then please comment because I've wondered for a while. It just seems a bit clunky, sometimes. So comments on it would be much appreciated. I mean, there's 'Spilling Secrets & Lies'... But feel free to suggest names and anything else. Feedback is always good.

I've been getting on with the editing of Dark Side of the Moon too. It's going really well and I'm really proud of the edits. I'm sorry to keep banging on about it, but I promise I'll stop when I've finished editing. I'm just trying to gather momentum to do it. It's not exactly the most exciting process in the world but it is painfully necessary. Gathering momentum is the only way I'm going to do it really well. The more excited about it I am, the more likely the edit will come out as something brilliant instead of something done through bored stubbornness.

And in a shake up to the usual format:

Where: At my desk

Listening to: First Love - Adele

Tabs open: SD chatroom, Sample of new site, Journal page

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, WMP, MSWord


(Lyrics in title are from Chasing Pavements by Adele)

Follow It Up

Where: At my desk again. I swear there must be something wrong with me.

Listening to: Pump It Up - Elvis Costello

Tabs open: SD chatroom, NALGames live streaming

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, WMP, MSWord


I should add a 'what are you eating' bit to the above list. Incidentally, I'm eating one of those cherry muller yoghurts with the bits of chocolate sprinkled on. They're so nice. They finish too quickly, though.

I have a bit if a headache at the moment. It seems to be a tension headache so hopefully the ibuprofen will work. It's annoying, though, because it distracts me from what I'd like to be doing right now... which is writing or editing. I'm up to Chapter 7 of editing in Dark Side of the Moon. It's going really well, but this headache is seriously murdering my chances of doing much with it. I wanted to get on with it so I could finish the last few chapters of The Secrets Were Spilling At The Seams. I'm half-tempted to cut the title to just Secrets or The Secrets, but I don't know.. I haven't been overly happy with the title for some time. It seems too long and too clunky in relation to the two previous titles - Dark Side of the Moon and Shadows & Ghosts. If you have any comments on that, I'd really appreciate hearing them. I like Secrets, but I'm just not sure. I think it's because it's had its current title for so long that I'm reluctant.

The other problem with having a headache is that I start writing the wrong words. It's like my brain is re-routed or something. I might get a glass of water after writing this because that usually helps when you need to think.

On another note, I'm quite proud of a good online friend. His real name is Greyson Wright but he goes by RedChu or RC. He's created a new online magazine about the Independent Game Maker Industry recently. In my opinion, it's really not a bad start. His first issue of OverByte Magazine is online if you want to look at it. As a friend I'm really quite proud of him. He knows there are things he needs to sort out for later issues but, for a first issue, he's done really well. It's casual enough to relax you, yet it retains the idea that it is a magazine and is therefore not too informal. Hopefully, he'll get a good readership. I'm not personally a game maker, but it was still quite enjoyable to read for me.

Today was the first day that I successfully managed to participate in Follow Friday on twitter. I'd meant to so many times but I would unfortunately remember too late. It's a really good idea, to be honest. It seems to build a sense of community amongst the strange people that inhabit twitter - I'm included in this list of strange people.

New Journal Space

Where: At my desk for a change!

Listening to: The Dumbing Down Of Love - Frou Frou & Imogen Heap

Tabs open: SD chatroom, Facebook, Myspace

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, WMP


I'm hoping everyone really loves the new layout as much as I do. NAL (Andrew McCluskey) sorted it out for me. I think it's fantastic and that he's done an absolutely awesome job. He and Sean Buller are the two who will be sorting out my new site for me. I really am extremely psyched up about it. So far they have design ideas and a list of things I'm after, but, even with the things they add of their own accord, I think it's going to turn out fabulously.

I've also sorted out my official myspace which I'd left for quite a while to its own devices. It's not as snazzy as this is yet, but it will be. The temporary background and images will do for the time being.

I haven't written on my journal in quite a while, to be honest. I've been ill on and off. It's stupid. I caught 'flu off my mum. Then I was feeling better and then I caught a cold. I've still got it at the minute. It's mostly in my throat now, though. As soon as I get rid of the cough then I should be good to go. I have so much to do and so much to catch up on. The problem is that I've just felt dreadful.

And then there have been the family dramatics.

My brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He's heart broken. And stupidly he took some kind of blade to his arm and showed me after our parents had gone to bed. This, of course, meant I had to clean him up and sort him out. I know how he feels but I think that was a step too far. If I'm honest, though, I reckon it was probably more to show her (they're both emos & she's supposedly cut herself so I think he thought it would prove something to her) that he loved her. Obviously it didn't work and the wimp that he actually is soon found out that it was also a stupid and painful exercise.

Then my mum has failed both of her assignments for her part-time uni course that she was doing to get a higher pay grade. It seems to have really upset her. And on top of that I had to tell her about my silly younger brother. I figured it was better that she knew in case something happened with his arm.

And my dad is being deliberately obtuse about things. I like that word. Obtuse. I watched The Shawshank Redemption recently so maybe that's why.

One more thing, though, today was exactly a year since I kissed my ex properly, alone in this very room. Trying not to dwell is a very difficult art. I know it was today mostly because it was three days before my birthday last year... and it's now three days before my birthday. Twenty on Sunday. I don't want to be twenty.

Anyway, I hope I haven't depressed you. I'm such a cheery soul. ;P

Ethereal Entity #28

Where: Sofa

Listening to: Die Hard - TV

Tabs open: SD chatroom, Twitter (no idea why since I have my plug-in)

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, MSWord


So, I haven't written in here in quite a while. Decided to write this whilst I got Andrew to read through my edits. He and Sean are making me my own proper site for my portfolio and everything as a birthday present (yeah, 20 soon... oh great). Hopefully, it's going to be really awesome. Don't really want to push the boys too far, though, because, whilst I know they're good, I don't know quite how far they will be able to do some of the flash things that I'd like. I've given them a list of pages etc for the navigation bar and suggested quite a lot of the stuff I'd like to see in it as well as giving them a mock up of the layout. I may or may not be moving my journal over there, as well. If I do it will probably be to a blog spot thing. That way anybody who doesn't have an account here will be able to leave comments too, but we'll see. There will also be a steampunk (if you don't know what that is, google it) style counter complete with clock. I've seen the design (so far) for this and it's really excellent. Just needs a few more cogs and things adding until it looks a pinch more realistic and then the guys intend to use flash on it to get the features moving.

It's the flash stuff that I'm more worried about them doing because I don't think they've done that much flash in the past so this might challenge them. Hoping that it'll add a lot of mystery and excitement to the site, though. I'm glad that they agreed to do it, to be honest, because they both know what I want, pretty much. Andrew certainly does, because he has even created an excellent book cover design for DSotM (Dark Side of the Moon) even though it isn't yet in the hands of an agent. It looks really good. Couldn't have done a better job myself. He's got it almost exactly spot on, though I'd say it could maybe do with a slight daubing of blood too, but I think he plans to edit it when he's finished reading DSotM. Either way, it should help him to see what I'd like for the site. Either way, my main desire is to have the site reflect the surprises I put in places in the book. It needs to be exciting things that will jump out at you and make you go 'Wow'.

My head hurts quite a lot, right now. I've had this headache for three days. It's really starting to bug me. Maybe it's to tell me off for being so lazy when I was born. The 7th was the date that I was due to be born, but I was exactly two weeks late. Maybe I'll have this headache until my actual birthday. Oh fun fun.

In other news, I've had the 'flu. Been feeling dreadful for days. I don't know whether or not it was swine 'flu like my mum had, but oh well. I've gotten over it quicker than her, anyway. I guess that's because I still had anti-bodies from my last bout of 'flu.

Ethereal Entity #27

Where: Sofa

Listening to: Come Dine With Me - Channel 4 - TV

Tabs open: Facebook, SD chatroom, Daily writing tips

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, MSWord


I read this today: jihad: a holy war on behalf of Islam. The Christian equivalent word is crusade, “a campaign or war sanctioned by the Church against unbelievers or heretics.” Literal crusades were common in the Middle Ages and were directed against Christian heretics as well as non-Christians. Now the term is used figuratively to mean “any remedial activity pursued with zeal and enthusiasm.” The same meaning is becoming attached to jihad. [http://www.dailywritingtips.com/30-religious-terms-you-should-know/]

Makes me wonder... Does that mean that the Christians would have been counted as terrorists in the days when they were on their crusades? I don't know. I'm just musing, but it would seem logical to me. I guess that's me though.

Apparently it's snowing outside. I don't plan on going out anyway. I still don't feel too well. I was coming down with 'flu night before yesterday. My mum's had the swine 'flu so I guess it was off her. I'm not as bad as her, though. I just had really bad muscle aches and terrible shivers. So the entirety of yesterday was spent in bed in pyjamas. I'm not a fan of spending all day in my pyjamas. It just makes me feel dirty. I don't know why. I like to change my clothes at least once a day.

I have set little things I do, as well. I like having a cup of tea when I wake up because my throat is usually too dry to talk on a morning. It's gross. But I will forego this ritual for a short amount of time if it means that I can avoid seeing/speaking to parents and my other at home sibling & having the house to myself whilst I drink it. Tea for me is the proper English version, not that pansy stuff that you have iced or with a lemon. I mean, yuck. Who thought that up? Iced tea is like drinking urine. Cold urine, obviously, but yuck. Anyway, so my tea is fairly weak with two sugars and milk. Depending on what time it is, I'll have breakfast. If it's ten or before, I'll eat, but if not I'm likely to forget that I haven't eaten. I'm a bit bizarre like that. And as much as I like to sleep, I don't like sleeping late. It has an unfortunate side effect of giving me headaches. It's like sleep deprivation but in reverse. I can deal better with having no sleep than having had some sleep. Maybe I'm just a naturally reversed person.

I've been trying to do some editing today but my mind keeps wandering off task. I'm also not sure how happy I am with some of the scene. Then there's the fact that, to be perfectly honest, my attention has been wavering due to illness. This wavering attention makes me terribly unhappy because I really wanted to get on with this. Oh well. I'll try to get back to it now.

Ethereal Entity #26

NOTE TO SELF: You really are an idiot. It was the logical answer not the illogical-your-heart-is-gonna-break-some-more answer. How thick are you? >.<.

Ethereal Entity #25

Where: Sofa
Listening to: Mama Do - Pixie Lott

Tabs open: Facebook

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, WMP, FreeCell


Pull yourself together. It's probably not what you think. You've just had a bad night's sleep and you're feeling like rubbish. It's not what you think. It can't be. Right? Wrong, but hey.. You don't care, right? Totally... Of course... Not one bit... Seriously. You were thinking about it last night, weren't you? And you figured that you didn't care at all. That you were fine. I mean, you are fine... Of course you're fine. He's just a man. Right? He means nothing to you. Of course. Totally. Couldn't care. Not one bit. Yeaaahh... So why are you talking to yourself like an idiot?

Ugh...

You'll find out soon enough and then you can make yourself hate him. Because that's what he wanted you to do anyway so he'll be happy. Yep. Completely. Stop refreshing. It won't change anything. Just wait it out. You'll figure it out in the end. You always do. You're not quite as stupid as you make yourself out to be. You'll probably see Kat, Nic, Bekkie and Rob at uni and feel better. They'll cheer you up. You can taunt Rob about how he's probably going to be stuck with you in his English Lit group. Need to burn a CD and get some money & petrol anyway. Ugh...

S'gonna be fine...