Tuesday, September 11, 2012

30th #SatSunTails Winners

& so we have our #SatSunTails winner!

You can help by promoting next week’s #SatSunTails on your blogs, twitter, G+, facebook, tumblr etc, that would be great. Also, if you’re on twitter and you’d like an @reply every weekend in order to remind you that the competition is open then please leave a note regarding this along with your twitter handle in the comments of this post so I can set that up for you.

But for now, let’s get to the winners!

The Written Prompt

adjacent dreams/dreaming

Runner Up Mentions

@melinagillies -

Fantastic descriptive techniques that leave us as anxious as the main character and with a vivid picture of the scene in our heads.

@Leo_Godin -

A great use of the prompts, capturing the protagonist’s painful longing in sweetly sad prose. 

@MLConklin -

Feral and raw in the description with a great inclusion of sensory elements. Loved the last line.

Overall Winner

@reravelling -

A brilliant tale artfully crafted together with a subtle back story. 

Winning Entry

His voice was a mellifluous flow of words and phrases she couldn’t follow, “electrical impulses”, “sensory signals”, “lucid dreaming”.

She gazed at a picture on the wall behind him, a meadow of bluebells in a wood. Was it a coincidence that it looked like the meadow back home?

This was the place she would dream of, where she would be reunited with Sheena for the first time since the accident. Once more running together and breathing the same sweet air.

“Any questions before you sign?”

Grasping the pen she scrawled her signature at the bottom of the consent form.

“Your sister has been transferred from St Agnes’ Hospital to the Dream Centre and I can take you to her now. Then we can get you both wired up for the adjacent dream procedure. You are the first twins to undergo the trial. I will be very interested in your results.”

Critique Mentions

Now, as promised, I shall critique those entries that didn’t make it. Sometimes it can literally come down to the smallest things.

@solimond -

I know I complain about repetition a lot but it really does jerk you out of a story sometimes and unfortunately this ‘The sound of a bird talking took up and there was the sound of wood creaking’ achieved that very thing upon reading this piece of microfiction. Try using another word such as ‘noise’ or even a bit of onomatopoeia such as the ‘scream of the wood creaking’ or ‘the twitter of a bird talking’. Onomatopoeic words often have a better effect on the reader anyway and cause the story to stick with them.

@tollykit -

An accidental over run of the word count by five words, which is such a shame because the piece had a great story behind it despite a piece of repetition near the beginning with the word ‘head’ used twice in the same sentence. Try again next week Winking smile

So thank you to all of those who entered.  The criticism is never meant to harm. It is there to help you better your writing and someday win overall. I’m sure it will also benefit those who were not criticised. I hope this has helped you as well as encouraged you to join in again next week!

Click here to read the mentioned entries.

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