Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Winners of the 48th #SatSunTails Microfiction Competition

You can help by promoting next week’s #SatSunTails on your blog or by giving the post a +1 or a tumblr reblog or click the ‘tweet this’ link up on the right hand side or share from the facebook fan page or retweet from my twitter page to spread the word.

Or, even better, go on the #SatSunTails twitter search results and retweet other entrants.

The more people that hear about #SatSunTails, the more entries there are and the better the competition becomes!

If you are on twitter and you’d like an @reply every weekend to remind you that the competition is open then please leave a note regarding this along with your twitter handle in the comments of this post so I can set that up for you.

But for now, let’s get to the winners!

The Written Prompt

leaving delirium

Runner Up Mentions

@jezri1 -

I love how well you always create the voice in your narrative by simply employing particular words, which really gives a sense of who your character is and where they're from without you having to necessarily tell us. A brilliant example of show don't tell.

@klingorengi -

Different and certainly well done on the descriptive side.

Kaylee Hamelink -

Interesting & I wanted to know more!

Overall Winner

Kathryn Rebecca -

Fantastic description. Perfectly jagged in rhythm for the narrative of the piece. I think I knew this would be the winner before I’d even finished reading.

Winning Entry

Hazy sunshine and wide grins. A glinting ring. Bubbles in glass flutes. Rose tinted memories. Pure delirium.

I was handed the mirror. Relatives and doctors smiling encouragingly. Bright lights. The scent of flowers almost. I glanced down. My smile cracked.

Jagged, angry lines traced across my cheeks and neck. A torrent of memories came crashing down around me, no rose tint this time. My smile cracked, a tear traced down my cheek.

Hazy sunshine and wide, angry eyes. A glinting shattered bottle. Screams. Shouts. 20:20.

They rushed to comfort me. Hands on shoulders, empty platitudes. All I wanted was him. His arms.... gentle kisses... soothing words.

I had been happy. I had been happy.

I saw him again. Behind glass, flanked by security guards. Men in robes and wigs asked me probing questions. A bench of 12 strangers rubbernecking.

He got two years. I got life. I smiled, leaving delirium behind.

Better.

Critique Mentions

Now, as promised, I shall critique those entries that didn’t make it. Sometimes it can literally come down to the smallest things.

@gethinmorgan -

Great story but a couple of errors such as indecent where it seemed like it ought to be 'incident'. Also a misspelling of one of the prompt words; delirium.

@Leo_Godin -

It was good. There’s no denying it, but there was a mix up on a word, I believe – the use of tole instead of toll. A great shame because I loved the rhetoric.

@fetterslopez -

Another mix up unfortunately took this tale out of the running too. Motif operandi should have been modus operandi.

Thank you to all of those who entered.

The criticism is never meant to harm. It is there to help you better your writing and someday win overall. I’m sure it will also benefit those who were not criticised. I hope this has helped you in your writing as well as encouraged you to join in again next week!

Click here to read the other mentioned entries.

3 comments:

  1. "He got two years. I got life." That alone deserves the win.

    BTW, I meant tole as in a piece of sheet metal. Really. Honest. I did. OK, maybe not.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the feedback and I can't believe I missed that. We look and think something's not right, but can't pick it out.
    As always, it was fun to write.

    ReplyDelete

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